Fleeting Moments
by Ryuji23
Summary: A sort of behind the scenes look as well as a slightly different take on the Tali romance starting from Mass Effect 2. Also there's some behind the scenes stuff of other characters. Still working on a permanent name for the story...
1. Chapter I: Just Like Old Times

Armor still under repairs from the firefights on Haestrom, Shepard and his ragtag group have just recruited Tali to become part of the crew that would take down the Collectors. The exemplary quarian has just finished getting settled in on the Normandy and is currently studying the new upgrades the Normandy from the Humanist group Cerberus. Amazed at the Tantalus drive core's size and capability compared to the SR1's, Tali stands in awe of the new technology laying before her. With a glisten in her eyes, she pores over system specs on the monitor closest to the door that leads to Starboard Cargo.

Practically giddy with excitement, her eyes skim over the recorded hardware and software, excitement clenching her gut as ideas for improvements and modifications spark through her mind like lightning. Then, the door hisses open and both Shepard and Garrus walk through it, laughing at some raucous joke. Tali's head and mind still focus on the monitor before her, luminescent eyes glowing eagerly. Shepard and Garrus pause their conversation and greet Tali, to no reply. Garrus' face cracks a cheeky grin and he sneaks up behind Tali, with Shepard close behind.

Garrus leans against the wall and says, "So! Like what you see?"

"Ah!" Tali exclaims, "Don't do that!"

Laughing, Garrus says, "Sorry, Tali. Couldn't help it."

"Uh-huh," she replies sarcastically, folding her arms. However, she still has yet to notice the Commander's presence and returns to the wonders of the engineering monitor. With a mild sneer, she asks, "I don't suppose you came down here to ask me about my immune system or something?"

"Now is that any way to treat an old friend you haven't seen in years," Garrus asks coyly."

"Well, it's you, so I'll make an exception," Tali quips.

Garrus smiles and says, "I wasn't talking about me, Tali."

Puzzled, Tali asks, "Then who were you talking about?"

Garrus simply turns towards Shepard and asks, "Is it me or has Tali become a bit more passive-aggressive since we last saw her?"

Shepard laughs a little and says, "Well...we did just save her from those crazed geth on Haestrom, Garrus. She's bound to be a little high-strung."

At Shepard's voice, Tali spun around in what seemed like an instant and stuttered for a moment, saying, "Sh-Shepard! I...I didn't know you were there too. I'm sorry. I would have greeted you sooner." She looks at Garrus with a bit of a scowl and asks, "Why didn't you tell me Shepard was right behind me?"

"I tried!" Garrus replies humorously.

With a blank stare, Tali groans, "...Right. Anyways..."

Shepard smiles and asks Tali, "So, how are you adjusting to the new Normandy? Do you like the upgrades?"

With excitement, Tali says, "Oh yes! It's incredible! I had no idea Cerberus could build something like this."

"Speaking of which," Shepard interjects, "Is the crew giving you any trouble?"

Tali replies, "No, in fact they've been very helpful. Engineer Daniels and Engineer Donnelly have been very nice."

Across the room, Kenneth Donnelly smiles and says, "Aye, I'm always theah to help a ladeh in need."

Gabriella Daniels pipes up and says, "You're such a dog." Cheerful laughter rang out across the Engineering deck, sported by Shepard and his old comrades.

After a short while, Shepard, Garrus and Tali caught up a bit on lost years. There was talks of family, friends and such.

Garrus had just brought up the topic of relationships, saying, "Dr. Michel recently sent me an email talking about how she was thankful that Shepard and I were still alive and helping save the galaxy once more. She was always so nice to me..."

Amused, Shepard says, "She was, huh? You should ask her out the next time we get some R & R."

Garrus laughs a little and asks, "A turian and a human? Would that even work?"

Tali happily says, "Well sure, relationships can go cross-species sometimes. Love finds a way." Unbeknownst to Tali, Shepard smiled and watched her carefully as she said that, seeing that she may have an interest in someone from another species.

Garrus folds his arms and says, "I'm not sure. I never really thought about it. The only relationships I've ever had were with other turians. Quarians are pretty close to turians, DNA-wise though. That's at least closer to home." Looking at Shepard, Garrus says, "There was that one turian and quarian couple talking about 'Fleet and Flotilla' back on Illium. "

Tali blushes a little, lowering her head, assuming Garrus was talking about her when he mentioned quarians. There was a slight tension in the air, although Shepard was the only one to feel it. There was a little clenching in his heart, and he wondered at its source.

After a pause in conversation between the three of them, Shepard bluntly says, "Anyways, Tali, it was great to see you again. I'm glad you're settling in well enough. And I'm glad to have you aboard again."

Garrus stops leaning on the wall and nods, saying, "Right, we should probably let you get to work. Nice seeing you again though."

Tali smiles at both of them and says, "Glad to be back. Talk to you later." Shepard smiles and begins to leave, with Garrus following suit.

Before the door hisses shut, Garrus asks Shepard with a puzzled look, "Was it something I said?" Laughing a little, Tali turns back to the monitor, the conversation and implications thereof buzzing in her thoughts. Shoving it somewhat successfully to the back of her mind, she resumes her study of the new ship and begins the arduous process of engine-cleaning.


	2. Chapter II: Lunch Time

It's a late lunch for many on the Normandy's crew deck, and the place echoes with conversation and footfalls. At 1500 hours HST (Human Standard Time), Garrus Vakarian makes his way from the Main Battery to the Mess Hall, and leans over the Mess Sergeant Gardner's table. The man's back is to him, his elbows moving in circular motions as they rub down dishes.

"Hey, Sergeant," The human male turns his head, typical bitterness in his gaze and Garrus continues, unabashed. "I know it's late, but got any Dextro food you can whip up for me real quick?"

Gardner scoffs, turning away, saying, "If you hadn't noticed, I'm busy. There's some old turian paste in the fridge if you feel daring enough."

The turian grunted his thanks, and took Gardner's suggestion, taking from the nearby cooling unit a long, packed tube of turian paste. Atop it was a note written in, he recognized with approval, Tali's swirling manuscript.

"Due date expired yesterday. I left it for you."

Garrus smirks to himself, placing the package into the heating unit. He leans back against the counter, arms crossing as he waits for the food to run its cycle. Avian eyes scan the room, resting for a moment on Tali'Zorah. Her lunch alone is occasionally interrupted by crew member passerby, all grins and humor. The quarian always seemed to blend right in to whatever environment she was shoved into and affect it with this sort of glow. Garrus shifted his weight, suddenly uncomfortable alone.

His eyes continued their scan, watching Miranda walking briskly towards her office, omni-tool out and glowing as she fills out a report to the Illusive Man. Continuing his scan of the Mess Hall, Garrus saw Jacob flex to himself on his way towards the Armory. A cloaked feminine figure was following as a sheen of air rippled behind Jacob, unnoticed by much of the crew. Over near the lounge, the voices of Grunt and Zaeed are heard, vigorously sharing war stories.

Just at the edge of Garrus' vision, a silhouette of green slipped by. Garrus held out a hand, and his eyes met the new member, the drell, who returned the turian's gaze in with a confused look of his own.

"Thane. Right?" Garrus asked.

Thane nodded politely before replying, "Why, yes. You are Garrus, I assume."

"Yeah," Garrus says, recalling briefly Shepard's dossier for the assassin. "Good to finally meet you." The two shake hands, Garrus squeezing a little tightly, unable to resist sizing the man up. With a little excitement in his voice, Garrus says, "I've heard you're quite the marksman." Thane chuckles, and Garrus finds himself liking the drell.

Thane says, "Most would call me killer. I prefer 'weapon.' Though for the kindness, you have my thanks." Garrus nods with a smile. He turns and glaces at the heating unit. He growls to himself however, as the food is not quite ready.

Turning back to Thane, Garrus says with a glint in his eye, "Shepard tells me you've got a good shooting arm. Says you could be one of the best in the crew."

"I've been trained for combat from a very young age." Thane quips.

Garrus grins cockily, "Let's test exactly how far that takes you. Shooting range later, you interested?"

Thane smiles and says, "A shooting competition with Archangel of Omega?" Garrus winces at the nickname, and Thane's smile widens, "I'd be honored."

The two shake hands and Thane begins to depart, saying with a bow, "It was a pleasure to meet you, Garrus."

"Likewise," Garrus remarks. As the drell begins to walk away, Garrus thinks to himself, realizing the incredible team Shepard has put together. With a sense of pride, Garrus smiles at the thought when all of a sudden, a quick buzzing sound can be heard. The food was ready.

Garrus carefully reaches in and pulls the piping hot tube of turian paste out. Immediately his eyes turn to where Tali sits, absently playing with her food. He walks over and pulls up the chair beside her, the screech of the movement snapping her from her thoughts. She glances at Garrus, and sighs.

"What?" Garrus says.

"Nothing..." She murmers, squeezing paste from the tube and poking at it.

Garrus leans towards her, nerves bouncing butterflies in his stomach.

Clearing his throat, he begins as smoothly as possible. "Joker told me we were setting a course for the Migrant Fleet. Did someone get on your nerves too much and you had to use your shotgun on them?"

"What? No!" She spins to face him, eyes wide behind obscuring helmet. She leans in close, voice wild. "What did Shepard tell you?"

"N-nothing!" Garrus says as he raises his arms in a sincere gesture, "I was just kidding around." Tali sighs and turns back to poking her food. "A... Are you in trouble or something?" The turian asks hesitantly, trying to be nonchalant as possible as he jerkily unscrews the paste's cap.

"I... I'd rather not talk about it." Tali says. Her voice is soft, strained, "There's... already enough on everyone's minds."

"You'd be surprised at how much I can handle." Garrus says, "It's rather impressive, really." Tali laughs, a delightful noise which dies all too soon. When her voice comes out again, it's weak and scared.

"The Admiralty Board accused me of treason. Shepard's taking me there to support me in the trial." The slightest bit of warmth creeps into her voice at his name. She goes on, saying, "It's very serious."

Garrus asks, "Do you have an idea why, or...?"

The quarian interrupts, saying, "No... no. I don't. I don't know why they'd-" Her voice cuts off abruptly, and her fist squeezes the tube. Garrus realizes with a start she hasn't eaten any of it.

The turian puts a hand on Tali's shoulder, "Hey...listen to me. Everything's going to be okay. I'm always here for you if you ever need to talk." His eyes glisten with a deep feeling of emotion. Tali turns to him, looks into his eyes and feels something...different.

She says with a soft voice, "I know...but how do you know everything will be alright?"

Shrugging, Garrus jokes, saying, "Well...I don't, but if you like, I can go with you and Shepard to the trial."

Tali smiles at the turian and says, "Sure. I'd like that." They look into each other's eyes for a moment until a sharp voice can be heard behind them.

"Hey you two. How are you?"

Tali and Garrus realize who it is, and turn to see Shepard.

Garrus jerks his hand off of Tali's shoulder, saying nervously, "I-uh...We were talking about the trial Tali's going to tomorrow."

"Oh okay. Yeah, we're going in the morning," Shepard simply states.

Garrus looks over at Tali then turns back to Shepard, asking, "Hey, Shepard. I'd like to join you two for the trial, just to be there as a moral support. Would that be alright?"

Shepard and Tali look at each other, then Shepard looks back at Garrus, saying with a smile, "Sure. I don't see why not. We'll arrive there at 0600 hours. Be ready." Garrus nods, then smiles at Tali, who quickly looks away and pokes at her food again. Shepard pulls up a chair and the three delve into reminiscent conversation, of old pranks that sported laughter and moments of battle which augmented gregariousness.


	3. Chapter III: Aftermath

Humming lights buzzed at the edges of Shepard's ears. The noise stood out in the calm quiet that had settled on board the Normandy.

The commander sat at his desk, face scrunching in attempted concentration. He was leaning back in his chair with one leg crossed over the other, datapad held out before him, and as time passed his hand rotated between gripping the datapad so tightly that his knuckles shone white, and holding it in so loosely it nearly slipped from his grasp.

Shepard dropped the datapad to the table, running a hand over his scalp. He couldn't focus. The words were a jumbled mess to his eyes, and his mind kept sliding over the details. Nothing stuck. It wasn't because he was tired, either; It was because her crying voice kept creeping into his head, her soft touch into his hands, her purple visor into his eyes...

Breaking from the thoughts, Shepard groaned. He wasn't entirely sure if this was due to worry at this point. His thoughts were crossing into a territory he wasn't sure he was willing to traverse into just yet. He stands up quickly, before his mind has a chance to settle down and evaluate the situation. Seeking a distraction, and quickly, he walks briskly to the elevator, and presses the CIC deck's button.

The Navigation room was abustle with activity as usual. Crew members rushed from station to station, exchanging data and retaining maintenance. The ship's soft hum was greeting him, and the din of movement flooded his ears. Shepard caught sight of Kelly's back as the woman tapped away at her own private terminal. Closing the distance, he leaned over and tapped her on the shoulder.

She spun about with a wide grin alight on her face. "Hello, Commander. How may I help you?"

"Hey, Kelly." Shepard said. "Is there anything I should know?"

"You have unread messages at your private terminal. Also, Tali would like to speak with you down in Engineering," she sincerely replied, "Anything else, Commander?"

"That'll be all," Shepard quipped.

Kelly nodded with a smile before she turned back around to her terminal, saying, "I'll be here if you need anything."

Turning away from her, Shepard made his way to his private terminal and tapped the keys, eyes on the screen. A menu arraying his choice of message popped up, and he tapped the top folder. His eyes scanned its contents. The unread message was from Admiral Han'Gerrel vas Neema of the Migrant Fleet. In the message, the quarian admiral had written:

"Commander, I wanted to thank you for helping us focus on the safety of the fleet instead of bicker amongst ourselves. I also wanted to discreetly thank you for not revealing during the trial what you told me after the fact regarding Rael's research on the Alarei. Had his experiments become public knowledge, he would have become posthumously stripped of all his accomplishments and all of his records serving the Fleet would have been deleted. I refuse to let what he did on the Alarei become all that was known about him. Rest assured, I will ensure no one will find out and Rael's honor will be preserved. I entrust his legacy to you. Keep Tali safe and give her my regards, Keelah Se'lai."

As the message's script sunk in, Shepard slowly let out a sigh of relief. Turning away from the terminal and stepping into the elevator, the last few words of the message echoed softly in his mind. "Keep Tali safe and give her my regards..."

His thumb pressed the button for the Engineering Deck, and his mind began to drift into a memory. A warmth, an enveloping gentleness, and a vulnerability that he wanted to cover. Her crying voice was gripping him, and her face was pointed to the floor. The feel of a quarian, surprisingly soft, and her arms squeezing him back for a moment. Shepard found himself smiling, and a feeling not unlike excitement was gripping at his heart. The drive core's hum grew loud, and from the blare he snapped back into control of himself. He pressed his hand to his face, closing his eyes tight as he shoved the feelings down. Tali's father had just died, and the man's lies and maltreatment had just been shoved into her face. He couldn't and shouldn't add to her problems now. As the elevator door hissed open to the Engineering Deck, the Commander's jaw clenched as he walked briskly out of the elevator and down the hall towards Engineering.

Right before entering, familiar voices halted his progress. It's Garrus and Tali, and though the words are obscured, the tone of conversation is heated. It rises as he listens. Shepard's heart tugged at him, and just as the Commander moved to enter the door, it hissed open, and Garrus, whose head was turned around, said,

"Look, just… Just think about it, alright?" The turian's voice came out soft and almost passionate.

Tali, arms crossed, head staring at floor, hesitated before answering, "…Alright."

Garrus sighed with relief, and caught sight of Shepard. "Oh, hey, Commander," He greeted. The friendliness seemed a bit forced. "I can't stay, calibrations to finish. But, good seeing you."

Shepard fumbled for a response, and went with. "Yeah. Sure, talk to you later."

He watched the turian leave until the door hissed shut.

Slowly, Shepard turns towards Tali and takes her in. His heart slightly jumped as he meets her gaze, and he tries to shove the emotion down with little success. With her luminescent eyes, Tali catches Shepard's slight change of posture, unsure of the meaning. She studies him quietly.

"So, hey Tali. What's up?" Shepard smiles his greeting.

"Hm?" She starts, then stares up at the ceiling nervously. "Oh, nothing, nothing. Really. I think..."

Shepard leans in towards her, suspicious. "You okay? I heard voices out in the hall. Was Garrus bothering you?"

Tali shrugged. "It wasn't anything important." She was staring at the ground again. Shepard frowned. "But…" She continued, discomfit. "I just received an email from some of the officials at the fleet that recovered father's body. The officials said he was… killed quickly, so he wasn't in pain very long, at least." Her hands gripped one another tightly.

Relieved, eyes wide, Shepard nodded. "I see. I'm glad he didn't suffer. But, on the Alarei..." Shepard swallowed. "Tali, I'm sorry you had to see all of that. You weren't even given the opportunity to mourn your father, I… I wish you could've had more time."

Tali looked up at him, a smile in her gaze. The moment held a sense of comfort. Then Tali looked back down, her hands intertwined. "It's alright. I have happier times with him, and I think of those like I think of him. With fondness."

Shepard smiled as his eyes began to drift aside. "Speaking of, I got an email from Admiral Han'Gerrel. He told me that your father won't be exiled and that all of his honor and accomplishments for the fleet will remain intact."

Tali's nostalgic state suddenly changes, and a smile is heard on her voice as she said, "Really? Oh Keelah...thank the ancestors! Thank you for telling me, Shepard!"

Smiling even wider, Shepard said, "I'm glad I was there to help out! Gerrel also left a note regarding you. He wanted to give you his regards."

"Thank you." Tali nodded.

"There was one last thing." Shepard said slowly. "He told me to keep you safe," His voice took on a more determined edge. "And I intend on doing that. If you ever need anything, let me know."

Unbeknownst to Shepard, Tali blushed a little and smiled as she hesitated before saying with a slightly flirtatious tone, "Oh, really. Well, I'm sure you'll do a good job."

Shepard found his heartbeat quickening, but quickly changed the topic, asking, "So, what did Garrus want anyway?"

Tali dropped her head again, but this time she's more uncomfortable, shifting her weight from foot to foot before replying, "Oh...well... It's nothing, really…" But upon Shepard's stare, she crumbled.

"Alright, alright… He… said he wanted to try going out on a date with me." She sighed. "I told him I'd think about it. I never knew he felt that way. I'm not sure if I even feel the same way but I might try it."

"Oh...well...I see."

Tali looked up at him curiously. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh..." Cheeks reddening a little more noticeably, he answered. "I was just wondering. A-anyway, I should let you get back to work. It was great talking with you though."

Realizing how much time passed by, Tali agreed, "Right, I'll get back to cleaning this engine, but thanks for coming by and… talking."

"Anytime." Shepard and Tali waved their goodbyes to one another.

He walked through the door and began to head back to the Captain's Cabin. As the door hissed shut, Tali turned back towards the engineering console, unknowingly smiling to herself as she repeated the words Shepard had just said to her in her head. Her heart began to beat slightly faster, curious of the sensation. However, she snapped herself out of it before she let her mind wander too much.

In the elevator, returning to his cabin, Shepard winced at the thought of Garrus' affections. Garrus, his friend, his comrade, feeling the same feelings for the same woman. Shepard shook his head, biting his thumb. Before the two got too serious, the Commander felt he should make a move. Shepard closed his eyes with a sigh.

Was now the time to do it?


	4. Chapter IV: Mordin's Advice

The Citadel's artificial sun is three quarters across the sky as it casts soft shadows on the docked Normandy. The ship is eerily empty, aside from a few over-working crew members. The Commander of the ship lay on the bed, grappling with his thoughts. His mind flows through memories of the soft touch of Tali's hands, the warmth of her embrace, the way her luminescent eyes pierce through her purple visor...

Trying fruitlessly to break away from the thoughts, Shepard began to rest his hands over his eyes. Another thought crept into his head; Garrus' feelings for Tali. Even though Shepard was beginning to feel a strong connection with Tali, was it worth endangering his friendship with Garrus? Would a human and quarian even have the necessary compatibility to be together?

The Commander stood up from the bed and walked to the elevator. He pressed the CIC Deck's button, looking for help from the team's doctor and scientist, Mordin Solus. The elevator began its descent and Shepard held a hand to his chin in thought.

I'm sure Mordin's looked into quarian biology before. Shepard thought. But how to spring this on him…

The elevator slowed to a stop and the Commander stepped out and migrated towards the tech lab. The door hissed open, and Shepard, entering, noticed the scientist salarian bent over some piece of work, black eyes unblinking. Pausing for a moment, Shepard watched the Doctor work, seamlessly gathering data, the salarian's six fingers blurring as they record his progress.

After a few moments pass, Mordin says, "Shepard. How can I help?" without looking away from the vials that were currently capturing his gaze.

Shepard glanced up at the salarian, and said sheepishly, "Sorry, is this a bad time?"

Turning back towards the computer, Mordin begins to write down notes, saying, "Not at all. Running tests to see if Collector technology can be repurposed for possible substitution for fuel. Tests almost done. Can talk while they are processing."

"Alright. I wanted to get your professional opinion on something."

Mordin, fervently typing on the holographic keyboard, nods and quickly says, "Can do. Topic?"

Shepard takes in a breath. The question is on the tip of his brain, and he hadn't formed any round-about strategy to present the question in a more subtle manner. _Oh well_, Shepard sighed. The Commander was a soldier, not a politician.

So, he asked bluntly, "Inter-species relationships. Is it possible for humans to do so with other species aside from Asari?" Casually, Shepard leaned back against a table and crossed his arms, staring at the salarian levelly and gauging the reaction.

Mordin, still typing, breathes in deeply and says, "Yes. Has been done between turians and quarians. Has been done with other combinations of species as well."

"So," Shepard continued, rather unsubtly. "Then there have been relationships between, say, humans and quarians that worked?"

"Proper measures must be taken if the relationship is between a levo and dextro-chirality species." Mordin paused for a moment, grinned with slight amusement, then proceeded with typing again, saying, "And indeed possible, though must be handled with extreme caution." The salarian glanced up at Shepard. "Physical contact not recommended for extended periods of time. Possible for a short time with enough antibiotics, however. Given enough instances of safe contact, quarian adaptaptation to new bacteria can be acccomplished over time. Still, must be handled carefully regardless."

Shepard's eyes dropped down for a moment as he absorbed the information. The Commander straightens, and his arms fall to his sides. "...I see." The Commander nodded, hope a beacon in his chest. "Thanks for your input, Mordin."

Mordin, always curious, said, "Anytime. Though, must ask. This is about the quarian Tali'Zorah I would assume? Past relationship would make dalliance attractive as stress release."

Shepard took a step back, "Well, it is about her...but-"

Mordin interrupted, "Can recommend antibiotics and supplements for her. Suggest you self-sterilize as well."

"No, I don't think that will be necessary." Shepard said finally, hoping to put an end to the conversation. "I was just wondering what you thought about it."

Mordin stopped typing and turned back towards the vials, saying, "Ah, I see. No dalliance then? My mistake. Assumed you were curious about intimacy. Apologies." The salarian nodded to the Commander.

"Uh...no problem. Anyway, I should go."

Shepard began to walk towards the door leading to the CIC but stopped when he heard Mordin say quietly, "Will be here if you need me. Will run tests in the meantime." Shepard smiled, though the expression held tinges of embarrassment, and walked back towards the CIC.


	5. Chapter V: Reassurance

_Kolyat, I've taken many bad things out of the world. You're the only good thing I ever added to it._

The thought keeps repeating itself in Thane's mind. He paces back and forth with hands clasped at his back, staring through the window to the drive core.

Through dodging lasers and with Shepard's help, he had finally been reunited with his son. The drell closed his eyes. He was exhausted, though not physically after long talks with Kolyat in the detention center. The boy was angry, and neglected. Thane knew he had pushed his son's existence to the side for far too long. The boy was lonely, had missed his father, and this hole in his heart had turned to bitterness and into a form of hatred. A defensive fortress whose walls were just cracked in their dramatic reunion. Thane was looking forward to making amends, and what he had done thusfar was definitely a start. The wall to tackle would be tall, and well-guarded, but the drell smiled at the challenge. He was glad at the chance.

Thane's pacing came to a halt and his hands fell limp at his side. His eyes narrowed as his thoughts raced to memories of his late wife, Irikah. What would she think of this flow of events? How would she treat the situation? Hands now clasped together near his chest, head bowed and eyes closed, be began to pray. His hearing perceived a hiss as the door to Life Support parted open, much to Thane's dismissal. He began his prayer.

"Arashu, Goddess of Motherhood and Protection, grant that my heart be warm, my resolve be unshakeable and my love be pure for my son. Watch over him as you watch over me. And...grant me forgiveness for the misuse of my time with him."

His eyes opened and his head raised; his hands drop to his side once again. He turned to see who had walked in during the prayer. In his deep gaze, he saw Shepard standing there with a posture fit for a humble man. The look was curious on the Commander, and Thane felt intrigued at the reason for the man's visit.

Piercing gaze still intact, Thane asks in the dry, croaking voice that drell possess, "Greetings, Commander. Do you need something?"

"Sorry," Shepard said with an apologetic look befitting of his statement, "I didn't mean to intrude. I just came to see how you were doing. Still keeping contact with Kolyat, I hope."

The drell pauses a moment before replying, "It is fine. and yes, though it is difficult. All things worth keeping are. But here, sit with me." Thane politely bowed and gestured for Shepard to sit down in the chair closest to the window as Thane sat in the chair he was usually found in.

After both sat down, Thane continued the conversation, saying, "I never explained- I suppose the story of my wife's death took you by surprise."

"I figured you'd explain it to me when you were ready," Shepard replied.

With a nod, Thane says, "I appreciate your patience." He stands up for a moment and continues, saying, "I kept my work clear of our home life. I assumed that would be enough to protect Irikah."

Glancing to the side of the room, he said, "That memory I mentioned before-"

Suddenly his eyes light up and rapidly move, drifting into Solipsism.

"Laser dot trembles on the target's skull. The smell of spice on the spring wind. Sunset eyes defiant in the scope." He shook his head slightly, with a dazed look, and let out a deep breath before continuing, "That was Irikah. That was how I met her. She saw my targeting laser as she walked by, and threw herself in the way."

With a curious look, Shepard asked, "So how did she go from blocking the shot to having your children?"

Thane smiles and says, "I had to meet her. The memory endowed and possessed me. I fell on my knees before her. Begged her pardon. She introduced me to the world beyond my work. Eventually she forgave me. Later she loved me."

Smiling a bit, Shepard said, "I guess she impressed you."

"She woke me up," the drell said. He drifts into Solipsism again, "Her body trembles. Not fear. Indignation. Her mouth moves. 'How dare you?'" Drifting out and back into the present, he continued, "You and I trained to sacrifice ourselves to save others. How often does a civilian step in the way of a bullet to protect someone they've never met?" Eyes wide with admiration, he said, "I thought she was the Goddess Arashu. She met my eyes through the scope, and my purpose faltered."

Gears turning, the Commander pressed, "When you talked to Kolyat, you said she died."

Thane lowered his head. "I let myself become complacent. I thought Irikah and Kolyat were safe. I stayed away too long, and my enemies came for her."

Leaning forward with a more serious look, Shepard asked, "Who came for her?"

Eyebrows wrinkled, the drell turned his head to the side, "Batarians. A slaver ring that was preying on hanar outer colonies. I'd killed their leaders." He shifted his weight slightly and adjusted his sitting position, saying, "They paid the Shadow Broker to find out who I was. But they were afraid of me, so they went after her."

Pausing for a moment, Shepard said, "You told Kolyat that you hunted her killers down."

"Irikah woke me up," Thane said with a longing look, "When she passed, I returned to my battle sleep. My body hunted her killers. Murdered them. I was taught to grant death quickly, cleanly. To minimize suffering. Them- I let them linger."

Trying to reassure him, the Commander said, "You were operating on instinct. By your own rules, you can't blame yourself."

"But I made the choice to hunt them," The drell put forth, "They're the only lives I've ever taken of my own choice. The only deaths on my own conscience." Guilt stretched his features, and he paused for a moment before looking up and saying, "I haven't spoken about my wife in- I don't think I ever have. I didn't have anyone left to tell it to."

"Thane, the worst thing is to face death with regrets. You're part of my crew - and I consider you a friend. If there's anything I can help you with, just ask."

Genuinely, Thane gave Shepard a look of gratitude. "I thank you." He smiles. "Because of you, I was able to see my son again. If you ever need my aid, do not hesitate to ask as well."

Slightly changing topics, he asked, "Forgive me, but I am curious. Is there anyone out there that is precious to you? If we survive the mission to attack the Collector base, I am unsure of what I will do afterward. I will no doubt keep in close contact with my son, but I wish to aid you further if you will have me."

"Well, there is someone...she's with us now, actually," Shepard rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "I think I… uh, it's Tali. We picked her up on Haestrom, before coming to get you." Shepard let out a breath, dropping his eyes to his hands.

With slight amusement, the drell mused, "Ah, I see. I had a feeling that was the case. Hmm." His look sobered, seriousness overtaking his visage. "Regardless, you have my word that I will watch over her and keep her safe. It is the least I can do."

Shepard stood up from the chair and turned around to look through the window, down to the Tantalus drive core. He saw Tali standing at the controls, typing away as she made calibrations to the engines. Thane joined him and stood beside him at the window, following his gaze.

Eyes intensely studying her, Shepard said, "She is very precious to me. But, I haven't told her my feelings yet." He smiled tightly. "I was waiting for the right moment."

Thane pats Shepard's shoulder, reassuring him. "My friend, moments are fleeting. Today could be tomorrow's disaster. You must live and treasure every moment you can with those closest to you." Shepard looked at Thane as the drell continued. "Irikah showed me that when she woke me from my battle sleep."

Smiling, Shepard replied, "Hmm-you're right." He looks back to Tali, "There's a slight problem though..."

"What problem might that be?" Thane asked.

The Commander says, frustrated, "Garrus is also interested."

Pausing for a moment, the drell clasps his hands behind his back, posture fixed in an upright and straight position. "I see how this could be a problem." He blinks, both layers of eyelids closing and reopening in an instant. "The best course of action would be to talk to her and see how she feels about the whole situation. From what I have observed, it seems you are the one she has a vested interest in, Shepard-"

He slips into a Solipsism.

"Luminescent eyes pierce the mask's shroud as he steps into the room. Her gaze follows intently. Never looking away. The affection is unnoticed. His form fades out of view. Her eyes drift away."

He snaps out of it and looks at Shepard. The Commander's face is a combination of fear and excitement all at once.

He smiles and says to Thane, "I-thank you, Thane. I'll go speak to her soon."

"I am glad I could be of assistance," Thane says with a polite nod as he sits back down and clasps his hands together. "If you have no further need of me, I will return to my meditations."

Shepard nods in return and turns back to look at Tali for a few moments before leaving the room. As he leaves, he thinks to himself.

_Lunch time...that's when I'll tell her._


	6. Chapter VI: The Confession

_Lunch time...that's when I'll tell her._

Those words repeated themselves in Shepard's head over and over as he was sitting in his chair in the Captain's Cabin. The look of the man was a contemplative one. Thane had just revealed information to him regarding affection from Tali.

Leaning forward, Shepard rubs his eyes, contemplating on how to reveal his mutual affection for the quarian. He checks his omni-tool for the time, seeing that lunch time was starting.

_Now is the time to do it._

The Commander stood from his chair and walked to the elevator, pressing the Crew Deck button. As the elevator's low hum was indicating that it was moving, he began to form what he would say to Tali in his head. With a smile, he was sure he was ready as the elevator reached the desired level. He steps out and heads towards the mess hall area.

Immediately, he sees Tali sitting alone, away from others near the mess hall. She sighs while playing with her food, lost in thought. She had not yet noticed the Commander's presence in the room.

Shepard walks up to where she was sitting, stands just behind her, and asks politely, "Mind if I sit here?"

With a slightly noticable jump, she murmurs, "Oh! Yes, sure."

Shepard pulls up a chair, giving her a concerned look. "You okay? You seem a little distracted," He points to the food that is now a jumbled mess.

She looks up, stares blankly ahead. "Yeah...well, maybe. I don't know really," she says. "I just...I'm not so sure of anything anymore, Shepard. What if this mission is our last? I feel like I haven't really experienced everything I can in life yet. I've never even had a boyfriend...and...well..."

Shepard smiles gently, and looks down at Tali's hands. She had been poking and prodding her food the whole time he'd been speaking with her, and little finger holes were forming glob-like creases.

He leans back to the wall and says, "Well, Tali, you never know what tomorrow brings. You can only hope that you live life with no regrets."

Shepard, ever determined to reveal his affection, reaches out and touches Tali's left hand and she quickly snaps out of her blank stare. She looks down at his hand and allows him to couple his right hand with hers.

She then looks up at him, seeing his piercing gaze as he says, "Tali...I don't know how you feel about me, but I care about you. I don't know whether or not we'll live through this mission, but I'm telling you now that I'd regret it every second for the rest of my life if I never told you how I felt about you."

Tali jumps a little bit, wide glowing eyes flashing in wonder. She starts to blush a little, tightening her grip with Shepard's right hand. "…Do you really mean it?"

The Commander's eyes never breaking away from hers, says, "I do, Tali. Every word of it."

She lets out a breath.

"Shepard...I had no idea you felt that way. I never… I never even considered it. Maybe I was afraid to-" She hesitates. "I mean...not that I'm against it… you, I mean, it just… it doesn't seem plausible… why would you..?" She bites her lip in frustration as she struggled to find the right words to say. "My immune system's frail. I can't be with you, not like other girls could." She looks down at her food and sighs. "It… I thought with Garrus it might work a little better… we're more similar, you know-biologically." She finishes weakly, hands falling to the table. There's a moment of silence; Shepard waits patiently for her to get her bearings. She turns back to face him, "Would we really work? Could we? What if I get sick? I could compromise the mission!"

Abruptly, Shepard stands up. Tali follows suit slowly, gazing cautiously at him.

He gestures towards the lounge, saying, "Come on. Let's go someplace quieter to talk."

She looks at him with a worrying look and agrees. When they enter the lounge, Shepard looks to see if anyone else was in it. The two were alone, however. The Commander then turns to Tali, quietly grabbing her hands and as he holds them, he looks at her with a gaze she's never seen on him before.

With a genuine show of affection, he leans closer towards her and says, "Listen to me, Tali. I know you're afraid of what might happen, but I've always cared about you. Ever since I first met you. There was something different I saw, like nothing I've ever seen before. It took me a while to realize it… and I don't know how you feel about all this, but- if you ever need me, I'm here for you."

Tali makes a quiet choking noise, and stares down at her hands, which are loosely intertwined with the Commander's. Gently, she rubs her thumb across his palm.

There's a smile on her voice as she says, "Shepard, if you were to tell me that someone like you, who I thought would never care about me in this way, would come up to me and say what you just said- I wouldn't believe it." Shepard frowns a little and begins to let go of Tali's hands but she grips his tightly, not letting go. "Not at first." Tali then looks up at Shepard's deep blue eyes and says, joy wringing at her throat, "You don't know how much what you just said means to me." She lets go of his hands and embraces him, gripping him tightly. Eyes closed, a smile stretches wide across her face as tears of absolute joy began to run down her face.

"Thank you..."


	7. Chapter VII: Conflict

On the Normandy in the Captain's Cabin, Commander Shepard sits at the precipice of his bed. Head bowed, he covers his face with his hands. A sigh escapes his lips, borne from a feeling of relief, an awareness that in the last hour he had been part of something that was already beginning to fulfill him right down to the very core of his being. He had confessed to Tali his feelings and she had reciprocated him. Shepard smiled, wondering why he hadn't said anything sooner when suddenly, the door to the Captain's Cabin opens.

Shepard looks up to see Garrus saunter inside. The turian says with wide grinning mandibles, "Sorry for barging in unannounced, Commander. I would have mentioned I'd be coming up over the intercom, but I had an idea."

Shepard gives Garrus a puzzled look and asks, "Alright, hit me."

"We haven't really had the time to talk since I joined back up with you, Shepard," Garrus states. "I figured it'd do us some good to go to the Citadel and unwind a bit. What do you say?"

Shepard smiles and says, "Yeah, I'd like that. "

On the Citadel, Shepard and Garrus walk into Purgatory, a local bar similar to Club Afterlife on Omega.

"Sorry we couldn't find a livelier place to drink," Garrus says with a laugh.

Shepard looks at Club Purgatory's sign, grins a little, then looks back at Garrus. "Nah, I'd rather avoid going into a place where I'm constantly reaching for my gun. It'll be nice to relax."

"Ah, but such environments can be invigorating! You get to keep your edge," Garrus quips.

Shepard laughs, pats Garrus on the back and says to him, "Alright, let's go in. But you're buying all the drinks."

The lights and scenery of Purgatory are filled with neon and dancing. Scantily clad asari and human women are dancing on the stages while laughter and the sounds of drinks clinking can be heard.

At the bar, Garrus tells the bartender, "Give me the heaviest dextro and levo drink you've got."

Garrus hands the drink to Shepard and they down the drinks. Shepard takes in the scenery.

"Hey," Shepard wonders aloud. "How much alcohol would it take to make me a better dancer?"

Garrus snorts. "Shepard, no amount of alcohol could make you dance better. Sure, you can fight like a krogan… but you'll never dance better than one."

"Yeah, yeah…" Shaking his head, Shepard laughs. "You're probably right. But at least I've got my marksmanship skills. And I bet I've got you beat there."

Garrus looks sidelong at the Commander, "I'd beg to differ. How about we have a little contest, and to keep it interesting, the loser has to buy the first round. Deal?" Garrus holds out his hand towards Shepard. Shepard nods and shakes the turian's hand firmly. With a stern look, Garrus says, "You can't back out now."

"Who's backing out?" The two grin fiercely at one another.

A few hours and a few rounds later, Shepard and Garrus are finding themselves delving into deeper conversations about family and friends among other things, laughter weaving itself naturally in. The club is a little emptier than when they first entered.

Garrus looks down at the empty glass in his hand and sighs a little, saying, "So, I heard you had a thing for Tali, Commander..."

Shepard stopped smiling and looked down at the bar counter. He thinks for a minute as Garrus turns to him, then says, "You heard about that, huh?"

"You knew I was interested in her too, eh?" He fakes a laugh but Shepard sees through it. The look in Shepard's eyes kills the laughter in Garrus' throat. The turian lowers his head and says, without bitterness, "Sorry. It's just, things haven't been working out all that well for me lately. I just wanted something to go right for once..."

Shepard pauses for a moment, trying to think of what to say.

Garrus notices Shepard's hesitance manages a laugh, saying, "Well I guess it's probably for the best if I back off then? The ladies can't seem to get enough of me anyways."

Shepard tries to laugh but can't. He meets Garrus' eyes, seeing the pain there.

With a pained, but determined expression, Shepard says, "Garrus...she means a lot to me. I'll do whatever I have to in order to make things work with her. I don't want this to cause problems between you and me."

Garrus looks back at the empty glass and begins to squeeze it a little, saying, "As much as I want to be with her, I can't think of any other person that would treat her as well as you would." He sighs and says, "You'd probably give her more than I could anyways."

Garrus asks the bartender for another round.

Shepard sighs, "...I'm sorry, Garrus."

After a short pause and another emptied glass, Garrus says shortly, "It's fine. Just...give me some time."

"Fair enough," the Commander said.

A silence falls on the two friends. They both watch as the club beginsto grow more and more empty. After a while, Garrus stands up and Shepard does the same. They look at each other, each reflecting the same deep-set admiration.

"Thanks for coming out here with me, Shepard," Garrus says with a smile.

Shepard smiles in return and says, "I should be thanking you, Garrus. I'm glad we had the chance to catch up and get things out in the open."

"Anytime." Garrus says, dropping a friendly hand on Shepard's shoulder.

The two shake hands then head back to the Normandy, making jokes and telling stories on the way back.

When they reach the Normandy, they see Tali.

She walks up to them, a smile in her voice as she calls out to them. "Hey! Did you have fun?"

"Yeah,we did," Garrus says with a friendly smile. " He turns to Shepard and says, "Well, I think I'm headed off to the pods. After I get some rest I'll get back to calibrating the weapons systems. Good talking to you, Shepard."

Shepard smiles and nods, saying, "Same to you, old friend. Sleep well."

Garrus proceeds towards the Normandy. As he walks away, Tali turns to Shepard with a puzzled look.

She asks, "Is everything alright? Is he going to be okay?"

"I think so. He took it a little hard but I think he's going to be okay," Shepard says and smiles reassuringly.

Tali moves closer towards Shepard and hugs him. "I...I didn't mean to put him through that."

"It's not your fault, Tali," Shepard says as he gently hugs her tighter. "He's going to be okay, I promise." She sighs into him. Shepard puts a hand to the side of her mask, drawing her eyes to his. "But what about us? Are we going to be okay?"

Tali, eyes ever gleaming, says in a passionate tone, "I believe we are."

They smile at each other and then embrace for a while before heading back to the Normandy together.


	8. Chapter VIII: The Culmination

The soft sound of music floats about the room, dipping into Shepards ears and landing flat against the stress which coated his mind. The fate of the crew consumed him as he paced the room. In his hand he gripped a datapad, which he studied fervently as his finger tapped and sled across it.

The mission was as good as suicide, as Miranda Lawson had repeatedly told him. A journey through the Omega 4 Relay, to begin with, was an ill-fated journey, let alone the infiltration of a Collector Ship. She pressed him for answers, demanding to know if everything was prepared, if anything, however slight, had been overlooked. And she was right to do so. The fate of the entire crew, kidnapped and otherwise, was resting on the judgment of the Commander. This

journey, though reminiscent of the rush to defeat Saren at Ilos, carried risks that had multiplied exponentially, heightened by the unknown, and the power thereof.

In the end, the Commander just didn't know.

Could they survive? The only thing the crew had was hope, and a blind one. He grit his teeth. And what good was that, in the face of death and travesty?

He tapped at the datapad again, faster this time, and slowed his pacing as his eyes fell upon the log of the Haestrom mission.

"So," a voice cut through air and thought, and Shepard froze, "I've taken some antibiotics as well as some herbal supplements to help bolster my immune system..." Slowly, he turned to face Tali, and she, closing the distance, caught the datapad and lowered it gently onto his desk. "I was going to bring music... but I didn't know what you'd like..." She met his eyes then, and her thoughts fumbled, "...and I'm babbling like an idiot."

Her visit was not unprecedented. Between talks in the drive core, and subtle hints that her research was nearing its close, Shepard had been expecting her up some time the last week or so. But for her to come now, when both of them were so close to death, and while the captured crew was stuck in some unfathomable situation...

Her eyes pierced into him, and thoughts of the universe, of the Collectors, and of the encroaching Reapers did not become shoved to the back of his mind, but rather were finally given an answer, given meaning. Fighting. What was it all for?

Love?

The word was so overdone, overthought, used up. The feeling, the answer went beyond that word. It was rooted deep in his heart, and would not pass away. It was a treasure that the Collectors, the Reapers, even the death of his friends would be unable to tear from him now. Death could not crush this.

He stared back into her eyes, and saw her feelings, unsure and faltering though they were.

"It's okay. Come here." Shepard murmered the words and pulled her to him. His arms encircled her, embraced her, and to him she did the same.

Words flashed like the strobe lights of the Citadel's Flux club in Tali's mind. There were so many things she wanted to say, and to communicate to Shepard. Her hand slid up his back, and gripped the top of his shoulder. But she was so happy to be in his arms, to be accepted despite the differences that set them far from each other.

_Well_.

The thought flashed, not entirely accepted yet, anyway.

_There's... one more trial to overcome, isn't there_?

She let out a breath, and pulled away, leading Shepard by the hand to sit with her at the bed's edge. Her heart was about to explode. Primed and set. Imminent detonation any second now.

She breathes as she says, "I just don't want to... I want this to work." With every fiber of her being, she did. "I've thought it over. I've minimized the risks but I'm still nervous and that always makes me talk too much. It's a defense mechanism and it's stupid and," as she spoke, Shepard's hand moved closer to the edge of her mask, "people who just see the helmet can't see my expression, so," The closer in proximity his hand was, the faster the beat of her heart. "I have to make it clear what I'm.." A hiss as the mask unlocked. "What I'm... feeling."

The rush of air beat against her face, but it barely registered in her mind. Thoughts, which before had been crowded and yelling in her mind moments before, were gone, and her mind was abandoned of them. Mindlessly she pounced the Commander and began kissing him.

Her eyes were shut tight as she did this, and they opened wide at the warm touch of the Commander's finger on her cheek. Her lit eyes locked on to his. Eyelids squinted mildly as she tried to read his expression, with little success.

She pulls back from him.

"I'm sorry," Her mind is still not entirely there, it's hidden somewhere behind a cloud of apprehension and fear, "Am I... repulsive to you?"

"No," Shepard says quickly as his eyes stared deeply into hers. A smile stretched across his face as he says, "I'd like to see more."

Slowly, cautiously, his hand travelled up to the edge of her hood. His thumb hooked and pulled the fabric back, setting loose wavy, brunette hair. Smiling, he wove his hand through the soft, cold texture of it and slowly leaned in to softly kiss her cheek.

Tali's breath hitched in her throat and she arched her neck, revealing markings on her neck that a V-shape from her collarbone up. Her eyes are slanted and her ears are, in a way, grafted into the side of her head. Her nostrils appears to be more slim than a human's.

Shepard kissed gently, softly, on each of these things. Tali's eyes are wide, and grow ever wider as the Commander's gesture continues. When she lowers her head to meet Shepard's eyes again, there is a smile that stretches wide across her face, and her eyes shine with affection. Now, she rushes to kiss him, and their mouths interlock. Eyes closed tight, she wraps her arms around Shepard's neck as he wraps his around her waist. The past few moments they have spent together in the evening thus far felt like a rushing river, but yet a slow stream at the same time. It rushed and flowed around them, and they spent it with full understanding of impending war, while absolutely treasuring the fullness of each other.

Hours later, the two lay under the covers, embracing, hands clasping the other's. Shepard's right hand wove through her long, flowing hair, and she happily sighed, looking up at him. He smiled in return, his eyes reflecting the same feeling. Tali bit back a grin. She laid her head back on his chest for a moment, then stared up at the ceiling.

Closing her eyes, she said, "Thank you." She turned her head back to him, locking eyes as she continued, "...Thank you."

Shepard closed his eyes and breathed. "No, I should be thanking you. You're really..." He looked at her, and she tilted her head inquisitively. "You're..." He stroked the side of her face, gently. Then he kissed her softly. "I'll never forget this."

"You, this, us," Tali said, whispering. "It's... beyond anything I could have imagined. Shepard," She sighed into his chest. "I wish this night could go on forever."

The yearning in her voice made Shepard grin, though bitterness tugged at the expression. The day of reckoning awaited.

He pulled her closer with one arm and said, "Me too." After a few moments, he said, "And Tali?"

"Hmm?"

"...Good night."

"Mm. Good night."

Darkness fell in Shepard's mind and eyes as sleep overtook him, so he missed the whisper of his name in the night, and the kiss on his own neck, ears, and nose. He missed that one last sigh of contentment, and the snuggling as she burrowed into his neck. Lastly, he missed the kiss that she lay, gently, softly, finally, on his lips before lying back to rest for the battle ahead.


	9. Chapter IX: Dissension

"Do whatever you have to do out here. But when Earth calls, you make sure you're there with your dress blues on-ready to take the hit."

The steely words of Admiral Hackett's voice resounded in Shepard's head as he read over the Aratoht mission debriefing report. He sighed as the scripted summary ran over him, sending chills of stress running down his back. Aratoht's mission had gone sour fast. Dr. Amanda Kenson, the one he was sent to rescue, had found Reaper technology that revealed the return of the Reapers in full force. They were coming through the Alpha Relay in the Bahak System, located in the Viper Nebula.

After discovering this information, the scientists were planning to launch a giant asteroid into the Alpha Relay, thus delaying the return of the Reapers for up to half a year or more. Unbeknownst to Shepard however, the technology had indoctrinated all of the scientists studying it, Kenson included. The Commander had tried to fight his way out of the station but was knocked out for two days, with only thirty minutes left until the Reapers' return from dark space. After fighting his way out once again, he had to make a grueling decision. A colony of three hundred thousand batarians were living in the system where the relay was located.

Shepard attempted to contact them and warn them about the explosion of the relay but was interrupted by Dr. Kenson. After navigating through the station, stopping the sabotage Kenson had done and reactivating the asteroid's planned trajectory towards the Alpha Relay, he finally re-encountered the doctor and was forced to kill her. He continued to fight to the surface and had a few words with Harbinger. Soon after, the Normandy picked up Shepard and left the system just in time as the asteroid collided with the relay, with the resulting explosion wiping out the system, killing the batarian colony in the process.

The weight of those deaths haunted Shepard, and he kept the idea 'its for the greater good' sharpened in his mind, ready to fight back those thoughts. Trillions of lives were saved with the sacrifice of the colony of three hundred thousand. A sacrifice forced upon them by one man.

Thoughts sped in Shepard's mind, creating a buzz in his ears and a pounding in his head as he lay the datapad down. He ran his hands over his closed, tired eyes and paced back and forth in his cabin. After a few moments, he fell onto his couch, trying to think of what to say to the crew. The mission to stop the Collectors was over. Everyone survived against all odds. After the Aratoht mission though, the crew would have little reason to stay together while Shepard was detained.

His mind began to drift once again, back to that fateful night with Tali. The memories of that night fell over him like a blanket and bane against the dark. And yet still doubt crept in.

How would she react to this? He groaned. The bond forget between them was so precious, and yet he felt its fragility. How much strain could it take? How much neglect could it shoulder? These things beyond his control seemed to conspire to tear them apart.

Finding no immediate solution, he turned his thoughts, with some difficulty, to how he would address the crew, going over the speech in his mind. A few moments later, he rose from the couch and lifted his head to the ceiling.

Hesitating for a split second before speaking, he cleared his throat and said, "EDI, tell the crew to meet me in the Comm room. ...There's a lot I need to discuss with them."

The smooth synthetic voice replied promptly, "Yes, Commander. They will arrive shortly."

Shepard stepped onto the elevator and pushed the CIC level's button. As the elevator hummed its descent, Shepard's thoughts drifted to Tali once more. These precious memories were abruptly interrupted when the door to the CIC opened.

Coming back to reality, Shepard stepped out and headed towards the Comm room via the Tech Lab entrance. As he walked into the Tech Lab, he saw the crew's salarian scientist, Mordin Solus, inputting keys on his omni-tool as he scanned some kind of plant.

Before Shepard could say anything, Mordin piped up and said, "Pardon, Shepard. Will be in the Comm room in just a moment. Finishing scans on local flora for a possible immuno booster." The Commander was about to reply, but Mordin cut him off, saying, "...Done. See you shortly."

With a smile and a nod, Shepard continued towards the Comm room.

As he walked in, most of the crew were already there. Miranda, Jacob, Samara, Legion, Kasumi, Garrus, Tali, and Thane were present with Mordin appearing soon afterwards. As he waited for Jack, Zaeed and Grunt, his eyes locked on to Tali's. She was doing the same as she played with her hands in a nervous manner. With a gentle smile, he eased Tali's worries slightly through the simple gesture. Soon after, the final three appeared. All eyes were on Shepard.

He cleared his throat as he began to say in an authoritative tone, "As you know, my recent mission to Aratoht didn't quite go as planned. The relay was destroyed and unfortunately, three hundred thousand batarian lives were lost that day. As a result, I have been called back by Alliance High Command to be put on trial. Next week I will return to Earth and all of you will be relieved of duty from my team. Any questions?"

"Yeah, just one," Jacob said with a sense of disgust at the situation, "Why the hell are we the ones who have to suffer for it?"

Garrus pipes up and adds, "You tried to warn those colonists and you saved more lives than anyone could count... and this is your reward? Doesn't add up."

"It makes sense," Miranda said coldly as everyone glared at her accusingly. "It avoids a diplomatic incident with the Hegemony to go stand trial on Earth."

Jacob remarked, "Maybe. But that doesn't make it okay."

The distorted voice of Thane could be heard as he straightened his posture and clasped his hands behind his back.

"Regardless of whatever inhibitions any of us now carry, the mission to fight the Collectors was never a guaranteed trip back, was it not? Shepard lead our team through the oceans of Arashu herself in there but we returned, each and every one of us. Our purpose in forming the team and destroying the Collectors has been fulfilled."

"True enough. Now we're big bloody heroes," Zaeed said with a sarcastic, yet cheerful tone, "Only our reward is we're outlaws if Shepard doesn't go to Earth."

Mordin replies, "Indeed. Even then, still no guarantee of safety for whole team. Could be accused of conspiring with Cerberus." He breathes in deeply, "Problematic."

"Pah! Let them say what they want. We saved all those weaklings whether they want to admit it or not," Grunt said while pounding his fists together.

Garrus replied, "Well... technically we're not really with Cerberus anymore ever since we destroyed the Collector Base. They can't really do anything."

Shepard thinks for a moment and says, "Either way, as much as I don't like it, consider the team disbanded by next week. I'll have Joker take you to wherever you want to go before I head back to Earth to stand trial. Dismissed."

The crew obeyed, grumbling. Grunt punched the wall before exiting.

Shepard stood still as a statue as he watched them file down the hallway, eyes dark. Tali lagged and hesitated behind the rest, staring down at her hands which gripped and rubbed each other. Shepard's brow furrowed at the sight, and he bit his lip, staring down at the table before him.

The door hissed shut.

Body tense, Shepard raised his head. Tali stared at him from across the room, bright eyes luminous and inscrutable.

"Tali..." The word caught in his throat, and the Commander swallowed.

She ducked her head and her hands wrung at each other again.

"Tali, I…" Shepard's face twisted. "I'll keep in contact. Vids or messages... somehow, I'll..."

The quarian woman let out a long breath, eyes squeezing shut, asking, "Was there anything else you could have done, Shepard?"

The words cut like a blade, stabbing him cleanly in the heart.

"There was no other option present for you to deal with the situation, Shepard?"

Shepard's silence became tense as the images of the colony disappearing from the galactic map ran through his mind.

"Nothing? Nothing at all...?"

"Yes!" He exploded suddenly, arms flying. "There was nothing! No other options present! It was that or we all died! Every single one of us!" His fist had pounded the table and it stung from the impact.

He hadn't meant to yell. He didn't know where that had come from. His head pounded again, loud and battling the silence.

"It's not fair," the words came with a whimper and sorrow unfathomable, breaking the silence; Tali's voice was heavy with despair. Her hands tightened. "Why did this have to happen? Why now?" She ducked her head once again.

Shepard moved across the room, towards her, but she backed away quickly and he paused.

"I don't want to lose you," she said as conviction laced her statement.

"You won't lose me," Shepard replied as he gave a faint half-smile.

"I've already lost you once," she retorted.

Shepard scratched the back of his head, sighing. "I have to do this, Tali. If I don't, the crew will suffer for my actions..." He hesitated as he continued, "...You'll suffer for my actions."

"I wouldn't care so long as I was with you," she muttered.

Shepard attempted to walk closer to her once more; this time she didn't back away. They leaned towards each other, staring into each other's eyes.

"Come to my cabin tonight," Shepard murmured, tracing a finger across the bottom of her mask. "I'll treat you to dinner, okay? We can talk some more then."

"Okay... , " Tali said as she embraced Shepard. She rubbed her hands along the Commander's back for a while afterwards.

After a few tender moments together, they let go of each other.

Shepard smiled, and her eyes crinkled in reply. He kissed the side of her helmet, drawing out a quiet giggle. She pressed her visor to his cheek, a smile in her eyes.

The two parted ways, hands elegantly falling to fingers, then falling to tips as Shepard watched Tali leave the room.


	10. Chapter X: Precious Moments

Soft drum beats and synthesized tones echoed throughout the Captain's Cabin. Shepard had carefully selected the range of music and its pleasing tone was comforting at the edges of the Commander's hearing. Shepard hummed the tune to himself as he set down plates of Levo and Dextro food on a red tablecloth set up in the midst of the cabin. It had taken some re-arrangement of furniture, but the date with one certain Quarian was all but prepared for. As Shepard added a few more finishing touches, his mind drifted to the sensations the Quarian had brought into his heart and soul.

What was once a close friendship turned into something...more. An intimacy both Shepard and Tali have never known occurred with one another. It was a kind of intimacy that reached across boundaries of species and culture, and placed equality on each of their shoulders. She had moved him so deeply. There was something about her that cut through all his formalities and responsibilities, something that made him more than he was, and made him what he had always hoped to be. He was a better man because of her, and he was proud of this fact.

Before he realized it, the Commander had finished preparations for the meal, the setting and the mood.

"This should do nicely, " Shepard said out loud as he stood back and peered over the scene, proud of the work he accomplished, he nodded and said, "One last thing to do..." He briskly walked over to his personal terminal and buzzed Tali to come up, saying, "Alright Tali. Everything's ready. Come up whenever you can."

After a short pause, Tali's voice responded with the words, "Okay, Shepard. I'll be up shortly."

A few quiet moments passed as Shepard patiently waited for the young Quarian to appear. The sound of the elevator arriving buzzed faintly and the Commander turned towards the door as he saw Tali elegantly walk through it. She was quite literally breathtaking. Shepard's breath caught in his throat as he watched her make her way towards him. Halfway there, she paused and stared at the dinner arrangements.

"This...this is perfect," She said with a smile, her eyes glistening at the sight.

Shepard felt warmth rise up in his chest at her response, that alone making his efforts worthwhile. He simply smiled and reached out for her hand. The pair walked over to the food and sat down. Shepard reached over to reveal food he believed Tali would find enjoyable, pulling off its cover with a flourish. She giggled at the action and Shepard found himself mesmerized at the noise. The angle of the overhead lighting brought about a soothing feeling when he peered into her eyes.

Tali looked down for a moment, then back up at Shepard, asking, "Is... is something wrong?"

"N-no..." Shepard said as he realized how long he was staring, "The way you looked just then was...beautiful."

Tali laughed a little before saying, "What? But I always look like this!"

"Well, sure, but I love the way you look," Shepard remarked. "Anyway, here, I made this for you. I hope I got it right..."

Returning to the food cover, he revealed one of Tali's favorite Quarian delicacies, a food that had taken a bit of running around between politicians and merchants to attain. The name was hard to pronounce, but it was similar in taste and texture to the finest steak on Earth. Most Quarians are vegan, but Shepard knew Tali was an exception.

When Tali saw what Shepard had revealed, she gasped, and covered her mouthpiece with her hands in excited surprise. She licked her lips and exclaimed, "This...this is amazing! Did Auntie Raan tell you about this?"

The Commander smiled and nodded as he said, "Yes, I hope it is to your liking."

With an excited tone, Tali asked, "Well, let's put these immunoboosters to work, shall we?"

Shepard gazed upon Tali as the visor of her mask was slowly removed, air rushing out as the locks were undone. She lay down her hood and let her long, brunette hair flow freely once again. She paused for a moment before looking at Shepard once more without her mask hindering her.

Before she could say anything, Shepard regained his genuine look of affection and simply said, "I love it when you do that."

Giggling a little, Tali grabbed food utensils and peered upwards Shepard, asking, "Well, shall we eat?"

Minutes turned into hours as the two regaled stories of their childhood, reliving happy memories and enjoying one another's company once again. After finishing dinner, the couple laid down and rested on the couch as they continued talking to one another. The enjoyable time began to come to a close however as Shepard glanced at the clock on the nightstand and recalled that his crew would soon disband. Tali, enjoying the time she was spending with Shepard, smiled and turned to look at Shepard's face.

The smile soon turned into a slight frown as she asked with a sigh, "Thinking about the crew?"

Shepard snapped back to reality as he heard her voice. He turned to see curious eyes that were waiting for a response.

"Mm... yeah," He mumbled, "It's just that... I want to stop the Reapers from destroying everything but no one besides us believes they exist. How am I supposed to fight something so monstrous when the galaxy itself doesn't even acknowledge it?"

The young Quarian's hand gently rested upon the Commander's. She paused, trying to collect her thoughts before speaking.

Finally having an inkling of what to say, she rose her head and gazed into Shepard's eyes as she said, "You must make them acknowledge it. You can't give up. And even if that fails… No matter what happens to the crew...to us. Know that I'll always be with you."

After hearing that, Shepard held Tali ever so tightly in a hug. She gasped at the sudden gesture, but relaxed and returned it a moment after. He kissed her on the cheek and coupled his hand with hers.

"And I with you. Thank you, Tali," He said as he gently tightened his grip of her hand.

The two laid there embracing one another for a few sweet moments longer until Tali began to sit up. She rose from the couch and put her mask back on. The short hissing sound that indicated the suit was sealed once again slightly echoed throughout the room. She turned and locked eyes with the Commander who now sat upright on the couch. His expression was melancholic as he saw Tali's face filtered and obscured once again through the purple visor. Tali began to walk towards Shepard as he stood from the couch and began to walk towards her. The two embraced one more time.

Tali grinned slightly in an attempt to cheer Shepard up, saying, "You know, one day I won't have to wear this mask anymore..."

Shepard smiled in response, saying, "Hey, I'm looking forward to it."

Soon after, the two let each other go. As Tali began walking towards the elevator, Shepard walked over to his office space on the upper level of his quarters and leaned on the edge of the desk as he watched her leave.

She reached the door, turned to Shepard, smiled and gently said, "Thank you for the wonderful evening, Commander Shepard. Goodnight."

"And goodnight to you, Miss Vas Normandy," Shepard said with a smile of his own.

The door hissed shut after Tali left to go to her quarters to sleep. Shepard walked over to his bed and fell on it with a heavy sigh. His consciousness began to leave him as his eyes began to feel heavy.

Before he faded away into a deep sleep, he smiled and mumbled, "Thank you, Tali..."


End file.
